back to it

I've been avoiding this blog because I feel that I need to have time and space and mindset required to write about grandma before I can post about other - mundane happenings in our corner of the world.  There have been one or two occasions where I sat down to write and just stared at the screen - not finding the words or the energy I needed to start, let alone finish a post.

So, I'm just going to recap some things because as much as I have to say about grandma - I don't want to forget the little things that are happening right now either.

Jennifer called me to let me know about Grandma, nearly two weeks ago now.  I was at first scared of the thought of not being able to come home, but once I told Kyle the news, he assured me I'd be going.  We couldn't afford for the whole family to make the trip this time around, so I went solo.  I had many conflicting feelings about the whole scenario.  It was such a sad occasion and I'd rather have not have had to make the trip at all.  But, despite the sadness, the fact remained that I was going to get to spend several days with my family.  And that is always a reason for happiness.  On top of that, I was traveling alone.  For only the 2nd time since I've been married.  This means that I time to spend with my family that didn't involve around holiday preparations and business, I didn't have kids to tend to and there was no set agenda apart from the visitation and funeral arrangements.

And so, I went home.  Never underestimate the power of healing a family can have.  I soaked up my family and friends and acquaintances.  Hugs, food, good conversation, laughter, tears, more hugs, reminiscing - family.  It was nice to be there.

The visitation and funeral were nice.  Well attended, personal, sad yet beautiful.  The thought that I kept thinking was that I was sad she was gone but how lucky we were to have had her so long.  My grandma lived every day of her life and left this world mentally sharp and with her days full of activity.  There is a lot to be thankful for in that.  She got to see me married, she got to hold her great grand children and meet, hug, and kiss her newest namesake.  I find comfort in thinking how happy she must be to be with my grandpa again - and, perhaps even more so, how happy he must be to have her again.  I'm going to miss her, but I feel like she's still close.

The rest of the week in Arkansas was a hodgepodge mix of visiting people, good meals and enjoying the city.  We had a family birthday dinner for Michael, David, and Patrick - and I was happy to be there for it.  I hung out at mom and dad's a lot and ran errands with mom.  I had lunch with Jennifer and hung out with Michael after work.  It was good to be home.

I eventually made it back to Boston - the same day that Kyra flew in to visit us.  And I was quickly transitioned from the leisurely week at home to the fast paced scheduled days up here.  Kyra was here for several days - much to the girls' delight.  They are both absolutely crazy about her.  I had 7 photo shoots last week, and I have a lot of work to do on that front.  I've been so very fortunate to have so many people interested in pictures.  Of course, that all had to happen after work everyday and it was a busy week on that front too.  Kyle flew out of town mid week for Colorado and so I had my hands full with the girls and the next thing I know - I blink and it's Sunday night.  Kyle is flying in on the last plane into Logan before they pretty much shut it down for the hurricane.  Brittany was rerouted to Boston and suddenly we have all of us together again.  Again, the girls were pretty excited when they found NeeNee had come for a surprise visit.

We hunkered down at home while the winds blew yesterday.  School was cancelled for me and Kyle, and I must say - I don't remember the last time we all had a full day at home with nothing to do. It was nice, despite the wind and eventual cabin fever.

We never lost power, we only lost roof shingles and some small branches.  I saw several cars smashed by trees and branches on the way to work this morning, and the school had a few trees down as well.  We were certainly fortunate to have escaped further wind damage.  The girls seemed to take it well, barely aware that it was anything more than a rainy day at home.  They slept fine through the night, which was my biggest concern.  Alls well that ends well.

Tomorrow is halloween, and I'm not sure if the rain will stop in time for us to get out or not, but Abby sure is hoping so.  They went to a halloween party on Sunday and had a good time, so hopefully that will suffice if nothing else.

And that brings us to now.  I will find time sometime to write out my thoughts and memories about Grandma.  I want the girls to be able to know about her someday. Thanks to everyone who sent well wishes, cards, flowers, prayers, etc.  Those gestures are so nice in sad times.  Truly, how lucky we were to have had her for so long. ♥