ashes, ashes, and we all...

As previously blogged, Abby has been slowly readjusting to her sleep schedule again.  Tonight, Kyle offered to put her down so I could work on dinner.  I was kinda hoping that she would go down easier for him than for me - then we would have a solution for the tears we get to hear every night as we lay her in the crib.  

But, just as with me, she was content and sleepy while in his arms, but as soon as he started to lower her into the crib, she started screaming.  So, he tucked her in, shut the door, and we sat and watched the clock.  I was hoping that it would last under 30 mins tonight. 

So, we're sitting there talking and going about making dinner.  Abby is crying.  After about 20 mins, I can tell that she is no longer laying on her back tucked in.  Her crying is louder - she's obviously on her belly, facing the end of her crib looking at the door.  Every once in a while her cries would get muffled as, I'm sure, she rested her head on her mattress.  Then, they would get louder as she lifted her head to cry some more.  I told this to Kyle - how I could tell that her cries sounded different - louder, closer.  I told him I wanted to go in an tuck her in again, but that I knew that it wouldn't help teach her either.  

Kyle says that he'd go tuck her in again - he couldn't remember if he pulled up the crib rail or not, so he went to go check on that and tuck her in while he was in there.  

So I go to the kitchen to start making the salad for dinner and I hear "Laura!"  I asked, "what?" and Kyle says in a rather rushed but urgent tone "she - she's at the door!"

Oh my.  

I ran to the nursery, and turned on the hall light so I could see in, and sure enough, there was Abby - on her belly in front of the door - on the floor, crying at us.  I scanned her - she didn't appear to be hurt.  She was propping her self up on her arms.  I picked her up and continued to check her over.  I brought her out into the light of the living room and sat on the couch with her.  At this point - she was not crying anymore and, honestly, looked quite pleased with herself.  She had managed to escape the crib and find us.  Mission accomplished.  

Kyle wasn't there - he had gone to our room - he was pacing back and forth and tugging at his face saying "I'm so sorry" over and over  He. felt. Awful.  When he came over to where we are, Abby looked up at him and gave him the biggest smile.  

She was fine.  Much better off than Kyle was. 

I've often wondered if I would panic in just such a situation - when Abby fell from...something.  I mean, it's inevitable - kids fall.  That crib has never looked so high to me before though .  As I rocked her back to sleep, I kept looking at the crib trying to imagine how she fell and how she managed not to hurt herself and how I could not have noticed.  I mean, I could tell her cries were louder when she was at the door - but before then, we never noticed a break or a noise in her cries that would have indicated that something was amiss.  I kind of surprised myself too, actually, once I saw that she was ok (and really even before that) - I wasn't worried at all.  Not mad at Kyle or anything, just calm.  I just needed to comfort her, that's all.  Simple.

Well, I rocked her back to sleep, she cried when I put her down, but after a few mins of my hand resting on her chest, she was fast asleep and I snuck out successfully...after pulling up the crib rail of course. Y'know - you never realize how loud bare feet walking on carpet can be until you've tried to sneak out of a nursery.  Anyway.  We'll be lowering the crib tomorrow.  

oh my child.