experience.

What a week it has been.  Is it only Wednesday?  That's odd.

I'm tired and don't really feel like writing right now, but I can't quite figure out what else to do at the moment, so here I am.

Yesterday there was a small crisis at my high school.  A student had been shot the night before.  It was gang related activity and the student is in stable condition.  I say "small crisis" because the student was not well known and not many in the school were affected.

Nevertheless, people seemed a little more, what's the word - on edge? frantic? stressed? Than usual and even though the day was not a bad day really - things ran smoothly - by the time I got home, I was kinda worn out.  Part of it is probably the weather - it's been raining for days (weeks? months? I dunno)

But, then last night, I got another call from our crisis team leader.  A 10-year old girl had committed suicide.  This is a very rare combination.  It's in the papers if you want more details, but that's enough for me to share here.  I spent the day at that school helping as part of the crisis team. 

A few things to note.  

1) I work in an amazing department.  They are so good at what they do and I honestly feel lucky to be part of that group.  There were a lot of us there today, as it was a pretty major crisis.  But that meant none of us felt alone either - we all supported each other as well as the staff and students.  Considering the terrible circumstances, the working atmosphere was very good.  I just felt so thankful for the commodore in our department.

2)  This goes along with the first.  This was my first major crisis to be called to.  I've been involved in many others, just none quite like this.  I was, I think the word is, surprised at myself.  I was, if not comfortable in that roll, confident in it.  A lot of that has to do with my awesome co-workers, but I was happy to find that I was capable and comfortable leading groups and speaking with students, fielding questions and the other things that the crisis team does.  And I felt like my experience belt just got like 10 new notches. 

3) The past weekend we had a crisis/psychological first aid training.  Talk about perfect timing?  My co-workers agreed that we came in today feeling good about our roll and as ready as we could be.  The training was great, and I'm really thankful we had it before this -because it armed me with an entire repertoire of skills to use in these circumstances. 

4) Kids are amazing and they are resilient.  They are curious and insightful and strong.  I enjoyed seeing that side of things too.

So, I dunno.  The circumstances are sad and tragic.  But, if I could go back and be somewhere else today, I don't think I would.  I was happy to be involved in the healing process.  I guess that's what this job is about a lot of the time.  And as for me?  I'm fine.  An extensive part of our training last weekend was on self-care.  And, although I'm tired, I'm fine.  I'll probably chill a bit tonight, maybe go to bed early.  But mostly,  I'm feeling thankful for the good that happened today in spite of the bad.