Friday, September 11, 2009

where I was

Isn't it funny how something that happened 8 years ago can seem so recent?

One day, when Abby grows up, she'll learn about 9/11 in her history books in school. It will, I imagine, be for her much like learning about Kennedy's assassination was for me. It was tragic and sad, but so long ago...and I had no real attachment to the events.

She'll probably look at me as if I'm as old as the dinosaurs when she realizes that I'm old enough to have been around when it all happened.

So, for the sake of passing memories down the line -

I was a freshman in college - barely. I had only been "in college" for a couple of days. I was on an orientation trip with 15ish other freshmen learning how to be "in college" We spent a lot of time playing silly ice breakers and eating lots of food and chocolate. Good times. The whole group of us had signed up for the Habitat for Humanity trip. So, we had spent the previous day sodding a lawn and other manual labor. The second day was a shopping day in Hot Springs.

At the time, I had never even heard the word "blog" I did things the old fashioned way and kept a journal. It was one of my college resolutions - to continue to keep a journal so I would eventually be able to remember everything from those 4 years. It only lasted about a week before homework and assignments were taking over my free time.

Anyway. I woke up early on 9/11. We were staying in a cabin by a lake and I woke up first and decided to go write outside. The sun was barely up and the whole scene was, ironically, peaceful. I was watching geese walk around the lake, which still had the morning mist rising from it. Everything was lush and green. A few mins later, my new friend John awoke and headed down to the lake. I remember watching him play with this little puppy who was nipping and jumping after him the whole way. I wrote about all of this in my journal.

Soon enough, the rest of the cabin awoke and we all got ready to head to Hot Springs for the day. We rode in two big vans and I remember as we were getting settled, the driver was playing with the radio. As we started to drive off, somebody started saying "shh. listen."

We started hearing the radio - but it was hard to tell what was going on, because we had missed the beginning of the story. Something about the world trade center. I wasn't even sure where that was. New York I thought. The group of us sat listening to the radio, and, for a moment, we thought that this was a "war of the worlds" kind of moment. We were waiting for the punchline. For somebody to say "just kidding"

But, they didn't. Instead, we sat and slowly gathered the pieces of the story - planes had crashed into the world trade centers. We were under attack. I remember those words being said very well. It was strange. Us? Under attack? Another breaking news flash interrupted to say that the pentagon had been attacked and they feared the capital building was next.

We were just dumbounded. And scared. I don't remember the drive to Hot Springs at all. We all just sat and listened to the radio. When we did get there, we quickly found a sports bar that had all of the tvs going. That's when we first saw the images, and where we saw the coverage of the towers falling. I remember going into a bathroom stall to cry because I didn't want to melt down in front of all my new college friends. It took me a long time to compose myself enough to rejoin the group. Of course, when I did, they all looked just like me - red puffy eyes, worried eyebrows.

I was overcome with emotion for the victims. I wasn't worried for myself. But for them. I couldn't imagine the thousands of people in those buildings as I saw them fall.

We spent the day in a bit of a stupor. Nobody did any shopping. We got back to campus to find eager messages from our parents awaiting us. We soaked up the TV coverage like sponges. They cancelled the pep rally for that night and, instead, we all gathered in the Burrow to watch President Bush give a speech. I remember sitting on the floor with several hundred other students all chattering and the moment Bush came on the TV screen, everybody was quiet. You could have heard a pin drop. I remember being awed by that.

In the coming weeks, we would continue to get more news coverage than we could take in. I remember being moved by the signs of solidarity around town. Ribbons, cups put into chain link fences to spell things like "peace" and "never forget"

Abby, there are a lot of things I hope you have as you grow...but one of the most important is the ability for empathy. I hope you grow to feel for others. I know you will, I'll teach you. But it is a very important thing. I remember feeling completely connected to every other person in our country through this common tragedy. I cried a lot - for the families. But, as with most things, time heals.

So, here we are, 8 years later and I'm reflecting, as I do every year, on the events of that day. I wonder how it will be viewed by Abby when she's old enough to learn about it. I hope I can teach her the importance of it.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Every year when 9/11 comes around I feel a great sadness, even though I am not American. God bless America

Raine said...

Your story is so like my own, that it is kinda creepy. but then again, I am sure that there were millions of college students like ourselves that heard it on the radio.

Great post.

Anonymous said...

The good news is Abby is bound to have empathy.

My memories are strong, too. First i heard we were going to shoot down our plane. I said, "Americans just don't do that". Latter I went to a prayer service. That day the world changed forever.

I love you all.

Granny

Wordweaver said...

Thanks, Laura, for posting this. I was home in Paragould when your sister called and said to turn on the TV. I did and sat saddened by the events...it really upset me. The rest of the day was a blur of watching and re-watching the towers fall, all the coverage, with little new to say. That evening I had a cottage meeting with a group in my church and I got confused about where to go and didn't know it until I got home. I was really mixed up by it all. And so very sad. We had prayer times in the church and the neighborhood came in and was so silent as they prayed. I also remember where I was when Kennedy was assassinated, but that's another story.

Love,
Daddy

Anonymous said...

Laura I think the storeis and events you are chronicling for Abby are fantastic. She will learn so much one day from reading all these words. You write so eloquently, she will have a wonderful time absorbing everything you are "teaching" her through the years. Kudos for your love and patience in doing this. Somehow I wish I had done the same....except it would have been in book form!!
Love AJ

Mom and Sons said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mom and Sons said...

Laura - I make sure each year to talk to Brendan about 9/11. He was only 2 years old at the time and doesn't remember the events of the day but by talking about them to him it's like he does. It was a sad period in our lives anyway, mom was placed in hospice care 3 days before, we were rushing around that morning to drop stuff off at the hospital for mom and to get Brendan to daycare. I briefly caught a glimpse of the burning building and walked away thinking "that poor country" (thinking it had to be somewhere else). It wasn't until I was 1/2 way to work before I realized what had happened. We spent part of the day reading about events on the internet at work and then, finally, they sent us all home because all we wanted to do was bit with our family. I drove in silence to get Brendan and I remember that daycare had the lights dimmed and some of the kids were scared. I scooped up Brendan into my arms and for the first time really feared for his future. We ended up watching the events of the day in mom's hospice room at the hospital. I think it's sad that our children will have no idea what that day meant for those of us who lived it and can only hope that by talking to Brendan about it that Shane will learn about it too and not feel disconnected like we did learning about JFK's assassination from a history book.

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